what do I do when my mother treats me badly and my brother and sister like gold?

Q. I am 36 years old and my mother treats me like crap. It started when I failed out of college and went to the navy. I go to her house and it's like a timer starts. I have a 5 minute time limit til I need to be leaving. I have a year older brother who hasn't worked or left the house since he was 16. I have a younger sister who has a masters degree and is working on a doctorate. she treats both of them like gold. years ago I had to move back home and my brother started a fight with me over the phone. he actually started throwing punches. I defended myself he lost and she kicked me out in the winter. I had no where to go. she left me out in the freezing rain with a 100 degree fever. and when I tried to camp in the back yard called the cops on me. one day I just happened to pass by her house and my uncles aunts cousins and brother and sister were all over there eating gumbo. In the south that is a social thing. I was not invited and she had a look like she hoped that I would not show up. for the past two years she allowed a friend of hers to stay at her house with his 10 year old daughter. they are not together just friends.. I am not allowed to stay at my mothers house. when I was I could not even sleep in my old room. I had to sleep on the floor in the den. this guy has a bedroom. and she would tell me to scoot my blankets out of the way so no one could see me when they walked in the door. kind of like Harry Potter under the stairs "pretending I don't exist" we go over there one day and my sister is home from college with a huge air mattress and clothes and whatnot all over the place. i have served in the first gulf war. I have 3 diplomas. one from naval nuclear power school and two vocational. I have traveled the world. I am divorced I have lived I have made mistakes but I work hard, I pay my own bills and take care of my children. I am grateful she is kind to my kids at least. It is just me. holidays are the worst which is why I am writing this. I called her and she told me that she was planning on cooking a pork roast and greens because that is what my sister wanted for christmas. so I asked her if she could make me a buttermilk pie. she told me "hell no she has enough to cook." then she went on to say that my children can come over to get there gifts christmas eve but on christmas day she doesn't want to be bothered she wanted to enjoy a quiet peaceful christmas. so I am thinking my brother will be there as will my sister and her friend and her friends daughter. so basically I am not welcome. there is a lot more but it is just that she really doesn't like me. I try not to let it bother me but it does....after years of this my best guess is that I look like my father and act like my stepfather. two men who abandoned her. in my opinion were wise decisions. she has shown amazing kindness to anyone else everyone else. it has been almost 20 years that she has treated me this way. she is not going to change. wont even try too. I have decided to not go by her house or call her the rest of the year. that way both of us will have a merry christmas. my sister acts like a mini monster version of my mother. and my brother is just a horses behind to everybody. he has never gone anywhere or done anything. he gets a crazy check and stays at home and my mother babies him. I honestly don't do anything to any of them. i hardly call them. I hardly go by my moms house. any help will be greatly appreciated

A. Ok here it is and I know its hard. You are an adult and mom doesn't want to see grand kids or you. Do not subject your children to that. If you are not welcome than neither is your family. Focus on what is good and healty for you and the kids. You can't change people. Don't try. You can live a good and happy life.

Original Question

What are some things that you can make to give as christmas gifts?

Q. I don't have a lot of money to buy gifts for christmas and a few of my friends don't have a lot of money to spend either so I was thinking about getting supplies to make things to give as christmas gifts to family members. Any Ideas?

A. Take a large empty wine bottle, push a small strand of white Christmas lights into it (about 2-3 feet), and wrap a sheer gold ribbon with an ornate decoration around the neck, like frosted grapes with leaves. The dollar store carries them. They are so pretty when lit up! My cousin made me one, and I love it!

Original Question

I need to get my grandparents gifts for christmas?

Q. I need to buy my grandmother and grandfather gifts for christmas

My grandma loves to buy things (but only through the tv- QVC, HSN)
she never throws anything out, and keeps buying more little things

My grandpa is always fixing everything.
He likes hunting, desserts, and idk

thanks

(BTW they are both like 63ish)

A. If you live near your grandparents, come and do some chores for them instead of a purchased gift. Shovel snow, rake leaves, clean out the gutters, etc. You can make a little gift booklet of gift certificates.

If grandpa likes desserts, bake for him. If grandma never throws anything out and has little things, maybe something to display figurines, like a small shelf or some shadow boxes.

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